I remember Tino said once on a Facebook post once that perhaps we need to put slay queens at the center of our political agenda because they seem to have the ministers’ ears. I laughed so hard at that because it was something that I would likely say. It was witty and sarcastic. But it also had beneath that cuticle of sarcasm, a skin-deep and acerbic truth that shows a lot of things that are wrong with our country.
For those who don’t get it. Coco Emilia, puis-qu’on parle d’elle, had just opened an eyebrow shop. The opening ceremony was presided by none other than the former Minister of Culture himself who in his characteristic verbosity, lauded the young Cameroonians who, like Coco, are creating jobs for other young Cameroonians.
While most of the online debate was centred on how she was able to pull strings to get the minister of culture to attend an event that was certainly not a cultural one, and whether or not she was selling/ had sold pepper to get the funds to open her shop, I was singularly puzzled by what constitutes an eyebrow shop.
Ladies, wtf exactly is an eyebrow shop? You mean to tell me there is an entire industry dedicated to eyebrows?
Anyway, to come back to our story, our national Cocolette was seen slaying in a CPDM outfit during a CPDM rally in the days leading up to the election. She posted pictures to Facebook with that generic slogan of “one and indivisible Cameroon” that I hate so much. She continued with a “go out and ask for whatever you want, but don’t push people to take up arms or promote tribalism as you do so.” – Quite a noble position if you ask me.
I don’t know if it was Eto’o’s outing the previous days wherein he admitted he was going to vote for Biya that had inspired her to do the same. Eto’o and Coco again.
As I said, her words were quite noble if you have to take out the 'one and indivisible' part. She just happened to be wearing the wrong uniform when she posted those words. And the reactions that followed were very bitter to say the least. Over 2,700 comments with 95% of them being rather crass insults.
I remember reading a comment saying she did not have the intellectual capacity to understand politics and she was at the rally for no other reason than to acquire new customers for her pepper business .I can’t say for a fact that Coco sells the proverbial pepper but it’s hard to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to a lot of rumours. Rumours can sometimes be just that; but then again there is usually no smoke without fire.And there is no grinding stone without pepper. Moving on though…
In her second post on the topic she rained insults on those who had insulted her and openly declared her support for Paul Biya. A young man commented, saying that he used to be a fan of hers but was now disappointed by her political position. I felt sorry for him. And not in a good way.
I think everyone is entitled to a political opinion. It’s their prerogative. What I can’t stand, however, is the stench of the hypocrisy that holds the hand of such opinions. I think people that walk the corridors of power irrespective of how far along they have moved into that corridor and who in that corridor holds their hands, are somewhat custodians of what and whom power is supposed to serve. And even more so, they should be more aware of those whom are under the foothold of power and how it serves them. I am referring here to the layman.
I remember Dave Chappelle in one of his stand-up specials, talked about how women are attracted to men in positions of power and how he veered after to the Clinton and Lewinsky affair. In what may seem a rather sexist way of opening the curtain behind what he was really trying to say, he said that women in such positions should give us the citizens a helping hand when they are giving...cough* cough*... a hand. He said if he were a woman and was having an affair with Bill, right in the middle of a BJ in the oval office, he would say “Sir, you should lower taxes.”
Dave Chappelle is a brilliant comedian and you should never look at his jokes from the surface.
I walk on very thin waters here. My metaphor may be wrongly interpreted by you reading. Just like Dave’s jokes it goes deeper. I’m not saying Coco is in that position nor is in a position to be in that position and should discuss fiscal policies on our behalf as she switches...cough* cough*...positions. What I’m saying is anyone who is in a position of having tentacles long enough to get a state minister to open an eyebrow shop should be capable of using his/her influence to take some of the weight off that foothold of power that crushes us. And if they are not able to, at the very least they should be able to shut up.
Just as much as anyone who has the ability to take a private jet with the CAF president for to militate for a football competition should have the tentacles long enough to fight for the people and not support the power that has subjugated us for 36 years. Again, if he is not able to, he should be able, at the very least, to shut up.
And many amongst us have ‘slayed’ that way too. In many different ways we have chosen to be on the side of the oppressor rather than the oppressed because it has given us an opportunity to live in our bubble, a false and alternate reality we have created for ourselves to mask the fact that we perhaps should have done more than we should have used our position when we were in a good position to ask for things that could make others benefit and see a change in their positions.
In this unholy matrimony of alliances where the ‘slay person’ sees only his or her benefit maybe we are condemned to that; you know, to have our issues taken seriously by the people who are supposed to take them seriously only when people who do not take them seriously, take them seriously.
Because in this game of who has the ministers’ ears, we seem to be losing. And our pleas, cries and frustration end up on the comment section of the Facebook page of someone whose cleavage we have seen more than whose ideas of a just and equitable society we have heard.
We live in a banana republic. And banana and pepper cannot be a good meal. Strange bedfellows indeed. * * - Wandji Wilfred