I have spent quite some time in Cameroon’s entertainment industry and I have come to the realization that for many, their notion of professionalism lies entirely in having a fake manager.
Even record labels that are not legally recognized in any part of the world will try and hit you with the contract and call my manager stuff. Most of the time, we are talking about managers who have not -even an iota of a clue of what the job description of an artist manager is.
For more than 70% (don’t ask me how I get my numbers) of the cases I have come across, the artist asking the potential client to call the manager ends up losing an opportunity to make some money. I should send you the contract and the proposal when most of you artists have walked yourselves into jail, signing contracts you can barely comprehend. How much income tax have you paid on the other contracts you signed?
The trigger of this article is -
The other day, I tried to get in contact with an artist that once walked through the streetlight starved, pothole ridden alleys of Bonaberi at about 1 am in the morning to my hotel room to ask me for help with 10K (which I happily gave) and I got a reply saying “send the proposal and the contract to….”
(pregnant pause)
Ok!
You know what this reminds me of? The typical Cameroonian customer service where someone will refuse to take your money because he doesn’t want to hustle to find change or just doesn’t want to employ his/her brain.
Once, at Santa Lucia, I bought a bottle of mango juice which was not registered in the POS database. When the salesperson scanned the bottle, it did not pop up. She input the barcode number and still it did not come up. When she put in the name of the juice, other flavors of the same juice came up but that very mango flavor I had picked did not come up. Her solution was she is not going to sell to me.
My experience in other countries is - the sales person asks for the manager over an intercom/PA system and the manager comes to make sure that bottle gets out of his shop because he knows enough about the costs of holding inventory and knows all too well that a million dollars starts with a penny.
In my case, a smart manager will bill me for a bottle of guava juice since both were the same price and make an accounting note to be resolved in the database at the end of the day. Another manager might even go the easier route of convincing me “the guava is even better. Why not try it this time while we fix this mango problem.”
And this is where Nigerians leave us in the dust, gasping.
The stupid Cameroonian will close his shop if he sells more than his habitual daily average even if there are 23 hours left in the day. The same person will throw away 25frs, sey na brown money.
I cannot count the number of times I go to buy something and the sales person is bitter like I am the one who forced them to come and open their shop. Mama, if you are mad, lock up your shop and stay at home. No be by force to get money but if you go out to get it, you better GET ALL of what is possible.
Back to my famous artist whose manager is too dumb to call me. YES. MAKE THE CALL MR/MRS MANAGER, even though now, I care less about making you get some money and I will rather someone who understands the hustle gets that money. I am gaining nothing by trying to convince someone who doesn’t need you anyway to put some cash in your pockets and instead of helping me help you, you chose to exude a sickening level of ignorance.
What I am saying is, I respect if as an artist, you are not willing to get into negotiations especially if you are not good at it. If that is the case, when someone reaches out to you for something like that, just kindly ask your manager, if you have one, to reach out to the person. That is hustling 101: You don’t sit down and wait for it to come. You go out and get it. You call, come to a verbal agreement, then you ask for the contract. This industry is too small for one to act otherwise.
Here in Cameroon, opportunity knocks and people ask it to come back tomorrow because they are having sex at the moment.
‘Dafug out of here. Opportunity is about to get a chicken stew dinner at your neighbors house and it is not coming back to you -ever.