If I ever had to put my money on someone coming out to complain about the fact that people took issues with her outfits, it would definitely not have been Daphne. I mean, I would have gone with Blanche Bailly because I’ve been seeing some really….salty comments under her Instagram pictures for the longest time ever. Unfortunately for those people, Blanche seems to be someone who is very comfortable in her (thick) skin and in her attire and she has always swept away these comments d’un revers de la main.
I think somewhere, it’s because (like I said in my last article), Daphne gives off this sweet-girl-next-door image. Likeable and approachable. When she spoke about Clarisse Valerie’s death on Instagram with hot tears streaming down her cheeks, the nice-girl image along with her humanity and empathy was further confirmed. It is likely hard for a lot of her fans to reconcile that Daphne with the other Daphne; the sometimes smouldering, sexy lady we see in the music videos.
Personally, I guess I’ve never really looked. Of course, I’ve noticed her curves but I have never really taken notice to the point of taking my time to write a comment expressing my views on them. I mean, I’m naturally first attracted to women who can handle conversations with me on Stoicism and on Afro Jazz. Boobs and ass are to me, an added bonus; like the small dash that the Mami-Put by my office, who has been propositioning her daughter to me, puts on my plate every now then.
It’s also one of the topics that I’d rather avoid giving my opinion on. Sometimes I just want to spare my ears from the screams of newly-minted feminists marching in, guns-blazing, telling me that I have no right to tell a woman what or not she should put on her body. Ironically, when you scroll through the comments you realise that the majority of comments are coming from women.
Which is interesting because you get to see the opinions of those who are always principally concerned when questions of the appropriateness of dressing come up.
I like to think these comments clearly tell these newly-minted feminists where perhaps a major part of their war effort should go to. I would gladly expatiate but who am I to tell a woman what fight she should choose or not to fight, right?
As for the guys, sometimes I don’t know if they are caught between rinsing their eyes and using that as a potential defence for assault or that they don’t care enough to even comment. I’ve seen women on Instagram, to my utter disgust and shock, call Blanche a harlot and how she’s not being a model for the little girls.
One thing I can say here is that if you have kids who are looking to other people other than those in their immediate environments as their prime models, then you have begun to fail as a parent or older sibling.
Anyway, here we are at the battle line between modernity and what most people will say is our traditional African way of life. Another fight about how far we can impinge on someone’s personal liberties and how far we can give on our opinions on that. Another debate on whether or not personal choices like that have an effect on the wider societies and by how much.
It’s becoming an endless cycle of wash-rinse-and repeat.
The truth is on this particular topic, we have a long way to go. Our society is still deeply entrenched in a lot of beliefs about how society should function and when we look at who is more looked at via society’s lenses to uphold what has been decided by the same society as virtues, it is the young woman. Daphne at this point is just a victim of collateral damage.
And before you come with the weak argument in the comment section saying that “when it is Beyonce and Rihanna you people will celebrate, but when it is your own you will criticise” just know the Beyonce's and the Rihannas are also criticised there. And our aunties here also criticise them. Just do us all a favour and shove it.
Honestly, I even think coming out to acknowledge criticism concerning this particular issue makes things worse. I mean, at this point I normally would give my opinion on whether or not Daphne should have addressed the issue in that Facebook post, but I’m not sure newly-minted feminists would appreciate me telling a woman whether or not she should address issues that concern what or not she should put on her body.
I’ve been rambling for a while now but I guess what I am trying to say at this point is that Daphne and any upcoming female artists (yup society doesn’t have males under that much scrutiny) that is thinking of using her sensuality, sexuality and ‘feminity’ in their music videos especially,… just wear armour and prepare yourself. It’s not going to be an easy battle. Fasten your belt and hold up your shield.
The night will be long and full of terrors.
- Wandji Wilfred