The stuff of urban legend and a supposed menace to cheating wives, penis captivus is a rare but commonly talked about condition. This condition, penis captivus, occurs when a penis gets stuck in a vagina.
Truth be told, legend has it that, in the past, men enchanted the vagina of a cheating wife. This guaranteed that the penis of their cheating wife's lover got stuck in her vagina. Quite a humiliating and embarrassing feat for both parties involved.
This in mind, is penis captivus caused by witchcraft or is there a medical explanation for it?
FIRST THINGS FIRST
Did you know that the vagina is a muscular cavity? Well, the vagina is loaded with muscles. That is, it is supported by different muscles. These muscles relax when a woman is turned on. Also, the pain experienced by virgins during first sexual intercourse results, most often, from involuntary contractions of these muscles. Even amazing, during coitus, a woman can tighten her vagina by contracting these muscles: this can send her man to Jericho.
WHY PENIS CAPTIVUS?
During coitus, the penis becomes engorged with blood and grows even bigger. What's more, during sexual intercourse, when a woman reaches orgasm, the muscles in her vagina contract uncontrollably. These contracting muscles can hold the engorged penis captive, hence the name penis captivus.
Not to degrade the condition, penis captivus is pretty common among dogs. I can bet my liver that you've once seen two dogs stuck together when having intercourse -- the mechanism through which this occurs is a little bit different though.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO?
With penis captivus, it is quite difficult to continue making love. This is because you can't withdraw, advance, or rotate the penis which has been held captive by the vagina. However, penis captivus is not a cause for concern:
Relax and laugh about it with your partner. Given enough time, the penis will become flaccid and vagina muscles will relax, releasing their hostage without any ransom. Don't try to force the penis out of the vagina -- doing so can hurt one or both partners.
If it persists, call your doctor to come and negotiate for hostage release. The doctor will inject a muscle relaxant.
FINAL THOUGHTS
Many urban legends have a catalyst: in the case of penis captivus, it is believed that it only affects couples engaged in "illicit" sex. In other words, it is believed that black magic is involved. The truth is, penis captivus is normal and pretty common despite the fact that very few individuals report that they have been affected by it.
So, gentlemen, you should be proud of yourself if you experience penis captivus. It means you've probably taken your lady to "la-la land" during sex -- only one hell of an orgasm can cause vagina muscles to become kidnappers.
MYTH BUSTED!
- Dr. Ndifor Judex